Learning to Love Ourselves

If I were to expand the title of this post, the full title would read, "Learning to Love Ourselves as Christ Loves Us."

I have always had trouble with loving myself. And I think it's accurate to say that many, if not most, people have that problem.

When I say we need to love ourselves more, I'm not referring to a superficial love or fascination with oneself. I'm talking about seeing the beauty in God's creation (creation being you and me) and truly appreciating it. As Christians, we're called to be humble (Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:3; 1 Peter 5:5), but I think many of us struggle with walking the line between humility and self-deprecation.

Okay. It's time to be completely transparent with all of you. I have never liked the way I looked. Growing up, I was called "chicken legs," "buck-toothed," "ugly," the list goes on. I was constantly picked on for being small. And while that may not sound terrible, to a completely vulnerable, influential 6th grader who places entirely too much value on the words of other vulnerable, insecure 6th graders, when you're laughed at for having no butt and no boobs and "looking like a hairbrush" from either side, it stings. It stings quite a lot. Especially when all of those pubescent, hormone-raging 6th grade boys, whose opinions I also held in high esteem, would join in the teasing. Basically, as most of us already know, kids can be incredibly mean. However, all of the picking and derision, made me desire to be stronger, and I eventually found my confidence in the athletic arena - particularly in basketball and track. Then, I found a home on the stage, reveling in the fact that I could be anyone I wanted to be for a brief moment in time. It was an added bonus that the people laughing at me in the audience were doing so because they were supposed to.

In the years since school, even through all of my theatre adventures, I maintained a passion for being physically fit. I loved it when friends would ask me to help them work out, and eventually decided to become a certified personal trainer so I could help others reach their fitness goals. I worked at Gold's Gym and Fitness Trainers to Go before becoming a fitness boot camp instructor. The big thing that I have come to realize, though, is that while my desire to help others was and is pure and for good reasons, my personal reasons for working out were all out of whack. I was constantly comparing myself to others - what they looked like, the kind of shape they were in, etc. - and would make a goal to have legs like that girl, or abs like this one. It was about others. I was never happy with how I looked. It even got to the point where I drastically reduced my caloric intake. (This was before I became a personal trainer. The trainer in me would have kicked the anorexic-girl-in-me's butt for mistreating her body in such a way. In fact, this was long before I got married 7 ago.) It's true, though. I quit eating, with the exception of one small meal a day. I remember one evening, I was hanging out with friends and they ordered pizza. I had a few slices, and felt so sick about it I went outside to stick my finger down my throat. (This is something I've never told anyone. My family doesn't even know.) I couldn't follow through with it, thankfully, but the point is, I tried.

While the not eating part only lasted for a short time, my body image took a while to get right. So, I know what it is like. I know what it's like to not be happy with yourself. I know what it's like to want to change so badly, you are willing to do whatever it takes to see those changes. It makes my desire to want to help people reach those goals in a healthy and safe way even stronger. I know people who take diet pills, others who try every fad diet that comes along, and others who workout for 2 or 3 hours a day. There are risks with diet pills; there are risks with fad diets; and, if you're not eating enough of the right food to replenish your calories after a grueling gym session, there are risks to working out 3 hours a day.

Several years ago, I had the true pleasure of attending something called Cursillo. Basically, I and a few other members of my church went to a weekend retreat where we worshipped, communed, studied, played games, and were served. Truly, I did not lift a finger on this weekend ... except to consume the endless supply of fudge. All of the volunteers cater to your every need because they want you to know what it is like to be loved and served. And, they get to experience the immense joy found in serving others in Christ's name. It was a beautiful, peace-filled, joyful weekend that I will always cherish. On the last day, one of the speakers tried to ingrain in us the following: "You are a precious child of an awesome God." You are a precious child of an awesome God. Shall I say it again? You are a precious child of an awesome God.

It is easy to forget. We live in a world consumed with physical beauty. It saturates us from the magazine racks at every grocery store and gas station; to the lingerie stores at the mall boasting posters of half-naked, rail-thin supermodels; to television and movies where even rugged detectives look like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Those images work their way into our subconscious and eat away at any self-confidence we might have. I've known Jesus since I was a little girl, but I still struggled because I kept losing sight of, or forgetting altogether, that I am a precious child of an awesome God and in His eyes, I'm beautiful just as I am. If only we had His eyes.

Fast forward to today. I am a 33 year-old mommy to a 3 year-old little boy. I work a full-time job, a part-time job, and am trying my best (failing miserably at times) to keep my family well-fed and our house clean. I am a certified personal trainer and boot camp instructor. I don't work out everyday because the time just doesn't allow, but I am happier and more confident now than I have been in a long time. Why? Because I've relinquished control to God. I used to get so frustrated when I didn't have time to go for a run or get in a workout. Now, if I only have time for either spending time with God in prayer or study, OR getting in a weight routine - I choose Jesus. There are times, I fail and put my workout first. I confess that here and now. But, I will keep working on putting Him first. For years, I was in great shape and miserable on the inside. Now, because of my relationship with Jesus, and accepting and loving the vessel He gave me, I'm happy from the inside out. Even if I miss working out two days in a row, I will not fret and get bent out of shape. I have found, and with the Lord's help will keep, a healthy balance.

This is why I started the Facebook page, Refining Fitness. (I invite you to find it on Facebook and "like it.) I want to help others find that healthy balance. I want to make sure that, whatever their fitness goal may be, they are doing it for the right reasons, and not because of some false ideal seen on the front page of a magazine. I want them to love themselves first and see the beauty in how God made them. And, I want to make sure that fitness itself doesn't become a type of false god, taking priorities over their well being, their family's well being or, most importantly, their relationship with God. Refining Fitness - we refine our physical bodies through working out and clean eating, and we let God refine our souls. A complete fitness... from the inside out.

I will struggle. You will struggle. We all will. But, we can support one another and remind each other that we are precious children of an awesome God ... and that is a beauty that can't be found in any gym.

Mouth Watering Chicken Stir-Fry in Less Than 25 Minutes

One of the staple meals for people who are eating healthy is chicken, mainly grilled chicken. As a fitness boot camp instructor, I hear ladies talk often about the healthy choices they are making with food. And when I say "talk," I mean complain. Ha! I'm just kidding. They don't always complain about it. But it can be a difficult transition, and finding healthy alternatives can get tiresome and old. We have cooked a lot of chicken in this house, and it came to the point when my husband finally said, "I don't want anymore boring grilled chicken." He had had enough. So, I have been trying to find new ways to prepare it and one of my favorites is in a mouth-watering stir-fry. It's so simple and it's ready pretty quickly, so it's another easy one to throw together on those weeknights when you get home from work and have a ravenous family waiting on you.
Oh, and I don't have a lot of pictures with this one. In fact, it's just the finished product. I know most people who blog about food have pictures to accompany each step of the preparation, but I just get too wrapped up in the cooking - I want to get it finished and eat! And I always feel the need, when I blog about food, to add the disclaimer that I am not a professional cook, nor did I go to culinary school. I'm just a working mom looking for tasty and healthy meals for my family.

Here are some things to keep in mind: Instead of using a can of corn, you can easily just chop the kernels off of two large cobs of corn. I actually prefer it that way, but I took the easy way out the other night and used canned corn. If you struggle with your sodium intake, you may want to consider leaving out the artichoke hearts. Instead, squeeze the juice of a lemon into the dish while it's cooking. It adds a lovely citrus element to it. Finally, usually I mince up a couple of cloves of garlic for this dish and add them while the chicken is cooking at the beginning, but this particular recipe utilizes garlic powder. You do whatever floats your boat.

You'll need the following:
Approximately 1 pound of chicken tenderloins, cubed
2 medium zucchini, chopped
1 medium yellow squash, chopped
1 12 oz can of sweet corn, drained and rinsed
(You can also just cut the kernels off of 2 cobs of corn.)
1 12 oz can of artichoke hearts
1/2 cup of halved golden sunburst tomatoes
1/2 cup of halved cherub tomatoes
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. dried basil
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
1/8 c. grated Romano cheese
2 tbsp. of olive oil

Heat a large skillet over medium heat. Add the olive oil and then add the chicken and let it cook for a few minutes on each side. I usually chop the squash and zucchini while the chicken is cooking. After the chicken has cooked for several minutes, push it to the outsides of the skillet, creating a hole in the center and add in the squash and zucchini. Allow that to cook for several minutes, stirring occasionally to make sure it's not sticking. While that is cooking, go ahead and drain and rinse your corn and artichoke hearts and have them ready to go. Then, begin chopping your tomatoes. Add the artichoke and corn to the skillet and stir it well. Let that cook for a few minutes and then add the tomatoes. Let it cook for several minutes more while you add the seasoning and mix it well. Top it off with the Romano cheese.

That's it! You have a healthy and filling meal. Serve it with a salad, if you like. We actually braised some purple cabbage to go along with it, and it made for a wonderfully colorful meal. This makes approximately four servings and the nutritional information below is for one serving. Feel free to leave your comments and any adjustments you may have made with the recipe below.

Chicken Stir-Fry Nutritional Info:
Calories: 332.5
Total Fat: 9.7 g
Saturated Fat: 1.7 g
Trans Fat: 0 g
Cholesterol: 68.1 mg
Sodium: 1006.5 mg
Total Carbs: 34.7 g
Dietary Fibers: 7.5 g
Sugars: 13.5 g
Protein: 32 g
Great source of Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium and Iron

Feta & Basil Stuffed Chicken Breasts - Can You Say Yum?

As a working mom with two jobs, one of which being a boot camp instructor, finding time to cook healthy and tasty meals during the week can be problematic. And I love to cook! Working out and cooking are two of my big escapes. Balancing the two can be tricky, because I love food - all food! But my family's health is important to me, especially that of my 3 year old. I want him to enjoy food and be able to indulge every now and then but, more importantly, I want him to have a good foundation when it comes to nutrition and knowing what is good for our bodies and what is not so good.

So, the other night, I was trying to come up with a new way to cook chicken breasts because, let's face it, the same old grilled or baked chicken, no matter how delicious it is, can get tiresome. I also wanted it to be a relatively quick and easy meal so that I could spend some of my evening playing with my son and chatting with my husband. Somehow, I landed on feta and basil stuffed baked chicken breasts. They were delicious, and they were ready in 30 minutes! What's more is they are low in fat and calories! Woohoo!!!  This is a recipe I'll definitely come back to time and time again. Keep in mind, I made it up as I went along, so feel free to add your own twists to it. I'm not exactly a culinary master, in fact I'm not even close, but I do love to cook ... and I watch a lot of the cooking show, Chopped. That counts, right? Ha!

I prepared six servings of this, because I wanted to have leftovers we could eat on during the week. Okay, enough gabbing. Let's get down to the good stuff! I hope you enjoy!

Six boneless, skinless chicken breasts*
1 4-ounce container of crumbled Feta cheese
2 tbsp. of fresh chopped basil
2-3 tbsp of olive oil
1 Italian tomato
1/2 of one lemon
Seasoning to taste

Pre-cooked

Preheat the oven to 425. Drizzle some of the olive oil into the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish. It gets pretty cozy in there with six breasts, but they all fit and turn out just fine. Mix the fresh chopped basil in with the Feta cheese. Cut a fairly deep pocket into each chicken breast, and stuff each one with the feta and basil mixture. Place them in the baking dish. Drizzle with the rest of the olive oil and then season to your liking. I mixed a little salt, pepper, and garlic powder together and just sprinkled it over the top of each breast, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Then, squeeze the juice of 1/2 a lemon over the breasts. Cover the pan with foil and bake for 20-25 minutes. Just to make it look pretty and to add some fresh crispness, after they baked, I sliced the tomato and placed 1 slice on top of each breast.

Right out of the oven. Don't they look delicious???

That's it, folks! Use the baking time to prepare any veggies you might like. I served them with red potatoes which I boiled and then very lightly sauteed in a little olive oil, and  a romaine lettuce and kale salad with a homemade blueberry vinaigrette dressing. (I may have to write about the blueberry vinaigrette in another post. It was so good!) In 30 minutes, you have a delicious, nutritious meal.

Nutritional information for one stuffed chicken breast:

Calories: 216
Total Fat: 9g
Saturated Fat: 4g
Trans Fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 75mg
Sodium: 308mg
Total Carbohydrates: 1
Dietary Fibers: 0.8
Sugars: 0.3
Protein: 29.5

*I used Harvestland chicken breasts. There are three in a package and they are individually wrapped.
The seasoning mix of salt, pepper and garlic powder are not included in the nutritional data.